Nuts the Squirrel was found dead last night at 7:19PM. The cause of death is currently unknown.
First on the scene, Bryan Mills, had this statement. "Nuts the Squirrel's remains were found strewn at the base of the sectional couch in the living room. The tail had been removed in a very grotesque manner, indicative of a gang initiation or occult ritual...or just a crazy puppy with really strong teeth.
The remains of Nuts the Squirrel, absent tail
We have a suspect at this time, Royal's Gold Coast Surfer; street name: Brisbane. He was found with the inner stuffing stuck in his jaws, sitting at the scene of the crime. He is presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law, though his guilt appears to be a foregone conclusion.
The Suspect (identity hidden as this is an on-going investigation)
It's always sad to see these things happen. Puppies do some crazy things and no matter how much you try to teach them respect for their toys, the peer pressure to be bad is always there and it's up to us to show them the right way so things like this don't happen. Unfortunately, Nuts was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He will be missed."
Nuts the squirrel is survived by The Penguin, Little Man and Hedgehog #2. He will be buried in The Graveyard along with other fallen stuffed animal toys.
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